Shattered

Look at This, Now.

Hm? What do you seek? Something that would fill your eyes and pack up your head?
Well, this is junk. My hands keep on shaking all the time, need to type all of these things. Okay, hold on, don't scroll anywhere and don't click anything.

Just read this junk, it'll only take you around five minutes to read this, okay? Well, unless you think I'm not worthy enough for you. I'm your friend, am I? Or am I not?
You see, I always do these kind of things, because I'm not very good at talking, not every person would listen to me, so I just make everyone to notice me, even just a moment.

There is no point in this junk, really. However, I didn't mean to waste your time, I just need your heart. This is no bullshit, friend. Oh my God, I'm sounded like I'm selling myself to you all.
Oh my God, tell me something I don't know.

"Honestly, it feels fine. So much fine.
Having people at your back
Having people to share joys and pains"
by Mevira Munindra

"When my life getting worse, you are here beside me..
When my life goes wrong, you take me back into the lights..
When i'm worried, you give me a hope..
When i shed a tears,you were holding me tight..
Thank you for being there through the good and bad times..
Please don't go away, cause you have been my ship in the storm of my life.."
by Ratu Evelien

"Ku bukan superstar, kaya dan terkenal.
Ku bukan saudagar yang punya banyak kapal.
Ku bukan bangsawan, ku bukan priayi.
Ku hanyalah orang yang ingin dicintai."
by Project Pop - Bukan Superstar

It's true, I envy that, I envy to have that kind of feeling. I know I have my own way, but at least I want to feel the feelings where other humans feel, so much like happiness! Just like that quote! Where did I turn myself to a wrong way? Why my life is so ruined by now?
Even I don't know why, then you'll never know why. Why?

Just one thing to make sure, I never pull myself out of the crowd, it's just they/you/someone/everyone never notice that I'm there, maybe I'm not that funny. I can't talk, because I don't know what are you talking about? I tried to never quit to open up with people, but now I'm starting to feel tired.

I'm out of control. I'm sorry. I'm lost. Just lost.